WELCOME TO RICKS SALOON



WARNING: If you have made it here, you have obviously taken a wrong turn. It's ok. Breathe...
Do Not Panic! You can get out of this safely. I'll guide you. Just follow these simple steps:

1. Reformat your hard-drive.

It sounds drastic, but you don't have time to lose. Hurry......

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Still with me?.... Ok. That should have weeded out any dumb ones.

Well, since you're still here, I guess I hafta do something for you. Don't know what it's gonna
be, so I guess I'll have to wing it. You're probably asking yourself by now "Where the hell
is that 'Back' button?" You might be better off to to press it. I don't want to be held in any
way responsible for someone's damaged psyche. Or therapy bills. Off you go. Shoooo!

Not going anywhere, huh? Man, they need to put locks on these. Try and keep the riff-raff out.
Ok, Sit down, Shut up, and Hold on tight. Try to remember that:


Yeah, well, so......... I don't do FaceBook, and I don't do MySpace. Even if you knew my real
name and Googled it, you would come up with Nothing. Nada. Zero, Zilch, Bupkus! So, the
only way you can learn anything about ME is to read what I write. And hope I'm telling the
truth. Face it, you have NO way of knowing otherwise. It's like I was telling Phil and Daniel
and E-dog the other day on the golf course. Ya hafta keep it REAL! That being said.....

That's my fugly mug you see. Mr. Eyes Wide Shut. The pic is 2 years old, so try to picture me 2
years older. The grey from the goatee has started to spread. I look more umm.... distinguished
now! Yeah, that's it! That's the ticket. An olde phart as you can see. Married, but I am currently
separated and waiting for a divorce <sigh>. Long, dumb story. No kids of my own (the little cutie
you see on my back is hers) unless you count the 2 cats I got custody of. So much for Canada-
U.S. relations. I have been working at the same place for the past 23 years. Soft in the head
(and heart) but stable. What else...?

My ethnicity is a veritable U.N. stew. I'll break it down for you to make it easier to understand:
Father's parents - Scottish father, Mulatto mother (half black /half white)
Mother's parents - 3/4 Algonquin Indian - 1/4 French father, French grandmother
That makes me a Scottish/French/Black/Indian. Genes from hell.

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Feel free to cut out as many as you need, and distrbute freely to all those in need of one.

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Hmmmm.. there's gotta be more... what else???
Ok. I've only been playing poker for about 3 years. I started playing Texas Hold 'Em on
Pogo of all places. I sucked at it, but got the general idea of how to play. Then I started
seeing all these WSOP games on television. It all looked pretty easy to me from the
comfort of my couch. Especially when you got to see all the hole cards. It's super- easy
to play when you know what everyone is holding. Or so I thought...... I saw all these ads
on tv for some site called Poker Stars. I downloaded the software, got myself an identity,
and quickly went out to show the world what their newest pro could do. Talk about easy
money. Especially when I started playing and realized, "These people are morons!
What a buncha donkeys!!!!" Yeah. Earth to numbnuts!!! Helloooo?


..................................................Here's my Sign...........................................

Talk about your RUDE AWAKENINGS! After a few minor successes, realization that I
honestly did not have a clue as to how to play hit me like a baseball bat upside the head.
Apparently, if I was going to make this my new profession, I had some work to do. And
lots of it. So off a-Googling it was. Oh, the places I went, the things I saw. Mostly drek to
be found. On-line hustles and Internet scams had offers aplenty. Trying to separate
the wheat from the chaff was quite a chore. But I did manage to find a few places that
helped. I saw an ad for Doyle Brunson's Super Systems I & II. I figured that if anyone could
help me learn, who better than Texas Dolly hisself, so I got it. Worth every penny too, if I
may add, for anyone who wants to learn to play Poker, not Solitaire. Back off I went to
practice what I learned. If truth be told, putting into effect what I learned improved my game
a thousand-fold. Only problem was, I still sucked worse than a tornado. Should give some
light as to how good the SuperStar was when he started. Obviously, what I needed was to
practice as much as I could. And I needed a bankroll, so what better way to earn some
gratis ca$hola than by getting into some freerolls. Only problem was, PokerStars didn't have
that great a freeroll system. You had to finish in the top 27 of a field of 8000 players, just to
earn a ticket to the round 2 freeroll where the money was to be made. While I was playing
these freerolls, I kept seeing some private freerolls, all being offered to members of this
site called Railbirds.com. Looked pretty juicy to me, since they were $200 freerolls, with a
much smaller field of entrants. I figured, "What the heck? What could it hurt to check the
place out?" Off I went to join. After casing out the joint, I thought that it seemed to be a
decent place to hang out and win me some of that easy online money. A little blurb in the
profile, a quick blog, a few replies to others, and 'Voila!' - Passwords to wealth beyond
imagining. Hehehe..

So, after having my ass handed to me on a platter a few times, I knew that I still had work
to do. I had read some interesting blogs, loaded with good advice. But then I stumbled
upon the Motherlode. A storage of poker knowledge so vast, it was humbling. All put forth
by Railbirds members. Some in their own words, some copied from other sources, but
such a cornucopia of help and hints and such that it would take months to read it all. For
those of you who are new to the site, I'm going to leave a link to this All Things Poker
Warehouse, compiled by our own, tireless A55A55IN. I STRONGLY urge any noobs to
spend a lot of time in there. It can only help. I know I've learned a lot about Razz and
Omaha that I didn't know before, and picked up valuable tips for NLHE, my game of choice.

I can't stress it enough. GO! READ! LEARN! APPLY! KICK AZZ!!!

Now, you'll find me here every day. Even if only for a few hours, I'm here. Like
most of you reading this, I came for the freerolls. But I stay for the buffet! I've
made some great friends here and met some awesome people. Along the
way I've managed to win (and lose) a few bucks, and increase my skill to a
level I would have thought unimaginable when I started playing this easy
game. I might even take some of your chips.

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What else can I leave you? I know. Some links to my favourite sites.

Website for The Tragically Hip, Canada's Finest!

http://www.nofxofficialwebsite.com/ : Single Greatest Punk Band in the World!

http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca/ : South Park, Comedy, everything to laugh!

http://oddee.com/ : Oddities, cool stuff, and interesting things you didn't know!

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3 : do it!

http://www.historycommons.org/project.jsp?project=911_project : 9/11 timeline


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WALL OF FAME


Won a ticket to the Daily 50 Grand Tourney.


Won this bad-boy on Absolute Poker. 4555 entrants, 1 winner

3rd place in the daily Omaha Hi freeroll. My best finish to date.

5th place in the daily Poker Stars $0.10 tourney. My best finish in this.


Sitting with Uni & Huck in the Ferguson. He was friendly and even chatted. Class Act!

Won this Stars 240 player $0.10 PL Omaha Hi SnG for a whopping $5.50

4th place in a $3.30 KO SnG for $24.75. Won this once, but didn't save a pic.

Didn't make it very far after that, but it was a good tourney. (Ya got lucky, Patrik!)

One of many Round 2 freeroll tickets earned.

A couple of Final Tables from my fave tournies.

Don't let any of that fool you, though. I really am a Donkey. Those of you who have played
me will vouch for that. But I'm getting better. Slowly but surely. One of these days........

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Some Pretty Good Rules For Life

1. Don't look back unless you intend to go that way.
2. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
3. Never argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.
4. The energy spent making yourself happy or angry is the same.
5. Never be the first to arrive or the last to leave a party.
6. Don't worry what others think of you. Worry what YOU think about you.
7. Don't worry over what has not even happened yet. It makes you old.
8. It's easier to ask forgiveness than get permission.
9. FTW. Be True To You! All else will follow.........

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Parting Shots : some things completely out of place, but I like 'em:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM
(I can't help it.. they make me laugh!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6-ZgPkt7_I
this ones kinda naughty, but you'll choke laughing!



I don't recall who I stole this from, but I'm forever grateful. Makes me laugh HARD!

I don't even hafta comment on this! It sells itself.


Friends don't let friends Tilt!


We all know one!


A pic I took of me on Hallowe'en night after Trick or Beer was over.
Watchu tink, mon? Me be da Irie boi wit m'dreads 'pon me life!


It's not about Style, it's about Substance.

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What more can I say? I dunno for now, but if I think of something, I'll add it.

Thanks to all who have stopped by to view. Good luck on & off the Felts