Donkey Hunting License

Dear Sir-Opus

Thank you for your application for a Donkey Hunting & Trapping License. We at the Online Poker Donkey Regualtion Commission take the management of the online donkey herd very seriously and feel that it is with continued support from persons like yourself that we can continue to offer outstanding hunting opportunities.

As you may know, we at the Online Poker Donkey Regulation Commission (O.P.D.R.C.) have been concerned as of late with the overpopulation of the donkey herd. We origionally partenerd with the larger poker sites such as Full Tilt and Pokerstars as well as several of the smaller sites to provide a sutible habitat for the donkeys. We have sectioned off several tables for the herd to participate at but with the opportunity to make real cash in freerolls, several of the donkeys have left the playchip boundarys set up for them.

With the help of programs such as your own Donkey University we have been able to register several Donks and permitted their participation outside of the playchip habitat. We however have underestimated the breeding capability of the donkey and now they are running wild in not only the freerolls but on the real money tables. It is for this reason we are issuing Donkey Hunting & Trapping Licenses. The purpose of this license is to thin the herd in the real money games. As you may be aware some donkeys are actually depositing and spreading the dreaded Bad Beat Disease among the higher limit tables.

The two options available are the Hunting license and the Trapping license. The purpose of the Hunting license is to completely remove the donkey from online poker. This is an extreme measure but often a necessary one. Often this license is reserved for the donkey who keeps depositing. The continual removal of the donkeys bankroll will eventually kill this donk. We do not recommend that you eat the donkey meat as it is very stringy and smells and tastes like a barbequed Good Year tire.

The trapping license is often used for the donkey who will not deposit but somehow wins money in freerolls. This is a very frustrating donk to deal with but with the removal of the donkeys bankroll they will be forced back into the playchips where they belong.

The O.P.D.R.C. is an orginization with the purpose to conserve the donkey population and control their numbers in the real money games. Without the donkey, skilled online players would consistantly be forced to play poker with only people of the same skill level. This does not encourage bankroll growth and as you can see a few donkeys allowed into a game will benefit all. We have approved the increase on Hunting & Trapping licenses as the population is growing out of control.

We at the O.P.D.R.C. would also like to address the serious issue facing our sport, poaching. Several poker groups have been seen taking donkeys without permission. The Sharks group is believed to have taken several trophy donks. Loud chants such as Shhhhhhhaarrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkssssss is believed to be some sort of poacher whistle call. We also believe that a violator known only as Powder2469 is responsible for taking unregistered donks. We have not witnessed this but have found evedence such as piles of peanut shells, empty beer cans, and an unbelievable amount of dirty magazines left at the scene of the crime. If you witness any of these crimes please forward your findings to our chief investigator Joroco Again I thank you for your application, please wait 3-5 days for the license to be sent to you.

Sincerely,

JayhawkKU , O.P.D.R.C. chairman.