DONKEY UNIVERSITY

The following is an unpaid advertisement.

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Do you ever wonder why your bankroll is dwindling? Do you ever wonder how someone can play every hand and never lose? Do you wonder why your premium hands fail you? Tired of throwing your hard earned money away on all those poker books written by the professionals? Well you are in luck. Donkey University is now open for enrollement. Classes held daily at 14:00 and 21:00 on Full Tilt and Pokerstars.

Donkey University is the foremost educator on how to WIN WIN WIN at poker and ignore those "strategies" by people who think they know how you should play. Our campus is your living room, thats right no expensive fees for maintenance! Donkey University students can learn at home even while holding down a full time job.

At Donkey University we teach you to play not just the premium hands like AA KK AK, we teach you to use the entire deck! No more waiting around for "Good" cards, at DU all the cards are good. We teach you to forget the wisdom of experts and play like you are made of money. When you finish our course you will be ready to take on the toughest opponents. Our proven methods work and you can see for yourself, the freerolls and sit & go tourneys are filled with our graduates.

COURSES

DONKIFY YOURSELF 101 - A course to unlearn the idea that premium hands are the only ones to play. We teach you to unlearn patience and play that bottom pair, unsoooted connectors like 3 8, and the secrets of the deadly backdoor flush.

CHAT 101, 102, 201 - A series of lessons on what to say while playing and how to respond to your angry opponent. We not only teach you how to entice a call but how to provoke your opponent into thinking his poket AA is unstoppable. Master the phrases "Thats Poker," "They were Soooted!" and "I had a feeling."

BAD BEAT BLOGS, A COURSE IN ADVANCED WHINING 102- Not every Donk wins and we teach you how to phrase your bad beat story to show the entire world how you have been cheated.

BEGGING FOR A STAKE 101, 102 - Two simple courses to teach you how to bleed playing money from others while presenting a sob story and how to avoid detection from the prorails.

MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS 301- This advanced course is taught by none other than Professor Sm*k*y. M*nk*y (name altered to protect his true identity.) We teach you how to keep coming back, over and over and over again. *PREREQUISITE You must be banned a minimum of 2 times or have a proven track record of warnings.

At Donkey University you will not only learn and play with the best but when you graduate you will earn the coveted title of Suckout. Remember suckout only means YOU SUCKOUT THIER CHIPS! Our courses have been PROVEN to work. Statistics show that we have more graduates playing than any other group!

So if you are tired! If you want to send a few experts down the road. If you have the heart and stamina. Just call 1-800-ALL-DONK DONKEY UNIVERSITY MAY BE RIGHT FOR U!

* This advertisement is not affiliated with Donkey Nation. All portions of this transcript are property of Opus Enterprises and may not be copied atlered or bitched about. Warning may contain peanuts, not recommened for children, pregnant women or persons sensitive to caffeine.