I just opened an Email with this in it, and thought it was funny enough to share here, hope you enjoy it, as I did !..Tc...
This
is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New
Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over
60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track
down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers
say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think
about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional
seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't
lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous
soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are
impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves
it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..
An
18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get
up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-*****.
If
captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to
getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an
excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and
yelling.
They
could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and
never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I
ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the
running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone
outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.
He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty
girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade
his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to
keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending
them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty
rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a
couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons,
who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!!
How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have
attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have
it secured the first night!
© Copyright 2010
30 comments
attitudes??
Sounds like you know from experience.
lmbo thanks Tc I needed a good laugh
Future funding of Social Security benefits may no longer be a problem either if we place all the able bodied 62 + year olds in combat zones...Wally
How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have
attitudes??
Hmmm...sounds like my kinda party! Where do I sign? LOL!
Great idea! Let me also add as far as leaving the wall with the rope off of the obstacle course, they can also do away with that whole running thing to build endurance I guess. I can tell you first hand, the minute you figure out that someone is shooting at you you get endurance out the wazoo and then some, and there is no amount ot training or long distance runs that will make you run farther or faster.