Have to vent somewhere

I'm fortunate that my family has never had those problems.

I'm sure that your Father had an estate, which as a girl friend she is not entitled to. Just don't let a lawyer get everything, but make sure that she doesn't get one dime of your Fathers estate. She doesn't deserve anything after doing that.

I think you need to tell HIM how you feel Jane.And don't make it personal.State facts.I'm sure you were not wrong 100% of the time,and if you support your statements with facts,your brother will see her for what she really is.A back stabber.

What a bad deal Jane, sorry to hear you are going through this. About the only thing I might suggest is contacting your brother and just let him know you will always be there for him. If he ever wants the truth to just seek you out. And hopefully in time he will come to realize it.

I'm sooo sorry that you're having to experience that at all, especially during this time.

Hopefully he will see what she's doing before it's too late and someone gets hurts more than they already are...

Hold tight and be strong, hun.

The only advice I can give you is to call a meeting between you and your siblings without her presence. Clear the air. If your brother chooses to side with the girlfriend, at least you will have had your say and he will know where you stand

well that is not a good situation from what you describe. i would suggest you just stay away from her and hope that the brother she is talking to isnt as naieve, i think that is how you spell it, as she thinks he is. i wish you well and hopefully you all can work this out. family is family, all of it after that is bullshit. gl and play on.

This may not relate to your present situation. This really did happen. I sat down at a bar for a beer. I noticed the guy next to me quietly crying. I asked him ;what was wrong. He said my brother died recently. I thought "G"; him and I are now the same. We have no brother. It made me think . Was I better off never haveing a brother? Or was he?

This is the first time you've mentioned this. Did you ever concider posting this on our HS site? There you have the support of the people you've known most of your life. Your a member of the Hawthorne family, we're all your brothers and sisters.. let us help.

Jane, this is so traumatic for you to be going through, particularly at this time. I have to agree with Papa. Try and call a meeting where you and your brothers attend (without her there) and speak out openly. I shall pray for a good outcome when you speak to your brother.

You really do need a big hug.

Papa and LaidBack (Bob N.) thanks a bunch. Papa the secret meeting is the best idea; we're staying here till one of the brothers gets home from Spain/Portugal. He couldn't make it for the funeral. Three of the 4 of us hate her...but this isn't a democracy and the honorable one, Richie (RSSILVER, here in RBS) is the nicest and most righteous one and he's the executor of the estate. Dad made a good choice in Richie; I'd have tossed her out on her behind; but he is a better person that I could ever hope to be. He deserves to win his Mayoral campaign; I've never met anyone who is more just and fair than Richie is. And he says she stays; she gave dad 100% of her life for 26 yrs...even tho I was cheated out of a relationship with my father. My clergyman says I should have to go for some counseling about my hatred and anger I have for her. And the hatred and anger is HUGE. I hate to agree with him, but I might feel better. I couldn't feel worse, I figure. Thanks, guys. YOu're a great family!

Well 2 of your 3 brothers hate her. He's your favorite for a reason. I'm guessing she's manipulating him with lies, preying on him perhaps being very sensitive and impressionable. I also suggest a meeting with him, possibly along with the others for support. If they hate her, and they are adults, as you, are, there's probably good reason. Sorry you're going through all this. Stay strong, don't let her beat you.

Scream if it makes you feel better hun !!! Scream loud and long !!!

You have gotten some good advice here. I can't add anything. I especially like the idea of a meeting of you and your brothers to talk out the situation. Each of you get an alloted time to state feelings, grievences, and such without interruption. Then have an ensuing discussion. Don't allow it to be three against one. That would be the way to lose a brother. Listen to him, say something like "I certainly see your side of the question, but can you see how I was hurt by ..." It may be that you will agree to disagree but lovingly, Or maybe, if you can all stay calm, he will begin to see the damage this woman has done to your family. Please keep us posted.

What did you do to make her not like you? There has to be something because she apparently likes your brothers... just curious

sounds like my mother-in-law.

She's not in New Mexico, is she?

If it makes you feel any better, none of the women in my family see eye-to-eye from childhood to adulthood. Possibly, this perception is the anger portion of mourning that both you and her are going through now. Hopefully, you will stay close and your family will be reunited during your time of need.

My heart goes out to you...I hope your family crisis is somehow resolved and good things are yet to come. My hope for all of you, is that you be healed.

Rene

Burnt Aces, I am a female and the youngest and the only girl and Dad's 'baby.' Anyone who could possibly get ANY of his love was/is her mortal enemy. She wanted him 100% to herself. My brothers had wives and kids; I'm youngest by 7 yrs. At the time he got w/her, I was only 19 and lived at home and she wanted me OUT. And once I got out, she made sure she never let me back in for more than a few days twice a year.