This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently s urging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
© Copyright 2009
25 comments
You men are clueless on this matter... truly you are.
WENDI AARONS..... TRUE AMERICAN HERO
WOW!!...I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO COMMENT OR NOT!...
ROFLMAO!!...BEST WORDS FROM A WOMAN TO A MAN I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!...YOU GO GIRL!
LOL Ok well I really loved this. Can we put her on the ballot? She deserves a reward, award something lol.
Thanks really loved this.
I have only 1 word that comes to mind here:
HYSTERECTOMY
Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that any woman do it.....but it's what SAVED my marriage. MAMA was homicidal one week of EVERY month for decades. I learned quickly to get the hell outta the way when she got that 'look'
I have only 1 word that comes to mind here:
HYSTERECTOMY
Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that any woman do it.....but it's what SAVED my marriage. MAMA was homicidal one week of EVERY month for decades. I learned quickly to get the hell outta the way when she got that 'look'
OMG!!!!THAT IS SOOOOO FUNNY AND VERY VERY TRUE!!!!I JUST WISH THAT MEN HAD TO GO THRU WAT WOMEN GO THRU 1 TIME A MONTH LOL!!!OH THATS RIGHT THEY DO!!!!! HAHAHAHA
NOW IF THEY ONLY COULD GIVE BIRTH!!!! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME EXCEPT THEN THEIR WOULDNT BE MANY CHILDREN IN THIS WORLD!!!LOL!!!ROFL!!!!
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? ........ Isn't that a rhetorical question ?........ If he is married, you can bet he has suffered through them, at the least !
....Tc....
rofl
ohhhh myyyy
rofl
thanks for sharing
hehehe