How to Lose Friends and Annoy People.

Alright. As my doctor told me that a 19-year old shouldn't be drinking 4 cups of coffee I'm going to have to be honest. Ready?

I don't fully understand why people are whining so much about losing in a freeroll.

Believe me, I've been screwed about as much as a Playboy Bunny. I've noticed that freeroll BBS (bad beat stories) come in three flavors, Vanilla "I Got My Aces Cracked By Some %@^$Head Who Called Me With Jack Four Suited Even Though I've Got Only 15BBs To Start And This Guy's Got Enough T$ To Buy The Yankees" (true story: AA vs J4... the AK wins only 82.5% of the time!) Face it, when the break comes, everyone, including me, who doesn't have at least 2.5k start gearing up, because 2000 w/ blinds 60/120 doesn't mean much... but 4k does!.

The second flavor is Chocolate "How Come When I Make A Move With Crap The Moron Shows Aces!" Poker is about timing, and well, I got this nasty habit of my timing being off. Way off. Most everyone else starts with Aces, gets cute by min-raising (It might work for a certain Canadian Pro who will remain nameless, but he plays like your cards are faceup, and I seriously doubt you are clairvoyant...) and gets 4 callers. With a K-J-9 flop... what AREN'T the odds that one of these jokers are staring at the joint or at least 2 pair (Hell knows if I got enough, I'm calling with J9...) The average winning hand in hold 'em is TWO PAIR. That means with 2 people, your aces are really nice right now (maybe, maybe not), but against 4 or more, not really.

My favorite type of flavor (and my favorite flavor of ice cream, by the way) is the Strawberry Hide, or the Strawberry This ^@!%&$ Called Me With Queen Jack And He Hit !%$# Runner Runner And Now I'm In My Room Listining To My Chemical Romance Because Poker Is Really Irritating. Let's face it. If a guy has AA vs KK, and he pulls a two outer on the river, big whoop. 20 other times you're pocketing his money.

In conclusion: if bad people can't get lucky and win: I'd be studying to be a bloody accountant like my parents instead of being a gambler online... because only one person could play (If you're the 9th best player in the world, it's not a bright idea to play with 1-8 on a regular basis).

On a positive note, I did actually win... $1.90! With my saturday losses of $1.50, that means I made the equivilant of a shot glass full of Frosty!!! (I made a full boat with the wonderful hand 63 in a .05/.10 cash game)