Pun Intended

Here is a clever Email i just opened :

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because

it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder

and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road

and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in

Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:

"Keep off the Grass."

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.

; When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,

a nurse said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is

poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a

small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now

a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts.

In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary,

they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults:

Practice safe sects!