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    So....you wanna play poker for a living

    Oct 3, 2008 4:26 am Report Abuse

    So....you wanna play poker for a living. Well follow this guide and I will guarantee you a life of FUN, EXCITEMENT AND FULFILLMENT! Yes...there is grass on the other side!

    First thing first....if you have been working at a job for the last 5,10,20 years...QUIT! Yea you heard me...QUIT!! I know there is a ton of you out there that want to tell your boss "TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!"....well now is your time! Just walk right into his/her office and tell them! Heck you're gonna be a poker player, he will see you on TV one day playing the Final Table at the WSOP and will tell his friends "That guy used to work for me, I am his best friend". Everyone will envy you!

    Second...cash out your 401K! Hell the market has crashed, the economy is in a shabbles. That money is not doing you any good just sitting there making nothing! CASH THAT SUCKER OUT! You are a poker player for god's sake! This is what you do is take risks (not gamble..there is a difference). You know... with your skill level you will double that money in one month! So what are you waiting for! Get it now before the goverment does!!

    Close your bank account! Just YOUR bank account that has YOUR money. As a poker player it is a MUST you have your "Cash" near you at all times. When it is sitting in a bank you look like a scrub when you go to the ATM after you bust out on a table. You are a poker player!!! You have hundred dolla bills falling out of your pocket! NOT an ATM card.

    Now, this is where it gets a bit difficult depending on your situation. If you are married/living with someone, you really have to use your reading skills as a poker player and get a read on your Wife or Husband. You might have to do a little bluffing and convince your other half that this is the best move and hopefully they will fold to you and you will be on your way.

    (Here is a tip if you stay married: You DO NOT have to sell the house. Make sure your other half keeps those assets so you always have something to get credit against. This is VERY important!)

    If they don't agree...just divorce them! It is very easy to get a divorce now-a-days. PLUS....you can split your assets and have even MORE money to take with you as a professional poker player! So this might actually be the best thing to do. Hell you haven't been happy for years....HERE IS YOUR OUT!

    If there are kids involved...just always remember their birthdays and come home on the holidays from the casino. The kids think it is cool Dad/Mom is a professional poker player and so do their friends. You might even help your kids popularity out in school!

    If you are single....YOU ARE FREE BABY!!!! Move to the next steps.

    Next.....Have a garage sale! Sell all your clothes except for a couple pair of jeans, a few tshirts and your flipflops or tennis shoes. Also, you MUST have the sweatshirt with the hoodie so don't sell that and you only need one. If you don't have one....you must buy one! This is a requirement at all poker tables during the early part of Fall and all through Winter. Sometimes in the summer but that just depends on if the Casino keeps their poker room cold.

    Why do you sell your clothes and other belongings? You don't need them and you need the cash! Plus the less clothes you have the less time you spend at the laundromat! Remember, you will be living at the casino so until you reach that level in your professional poker career where the casino will wash your clothes for free, you will be doing it yourself. Or if this is the case were your wife/husband didn't agree with you becoming a professional poker player and kicked you out!....you don't have any place to keep the shit! SELL SELL SELL! ISN'T THIS FUN!!! I told you it would be fun!!!

    Ok...so we have cashed in our 401K, closed down our bank account and got that money, sold all our belongings...now about transportation.......

    Well, we will get into that in the next blog......oh man, you are going to have the time of your life!!! All your dreams will be fulfilled!

    http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y17/dimplesxx/main.jpg?t=1223000777


    41 comments


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    Qstack Oct 3, 2008 4:31 am
    LOL....sounds good
    Qstack Oct 3, 2008 4:33 am

    so you will be like the cookie monster but with "CASH"

    canadagrind Oct 3, 2008 4:34 am
    might as well fall off the grid lol being a pro player will be harder for others. some have differnet mental states, also 1-2 no limit is no way to live. i could go on and on about this subject. but im lazy lol im a pro player.
    topcat1954 Oct 3, 2008 4:34 am

    Wow, sounds like a plan ! I will do all of these things in the morning, and I have a van to sleep in, so skip that part and go ahead and CLUE ME IN ON WHAT IS BEYOND THAT.....please !.... About $230 bucks total and a tank of gas is a good start, right?

    ....play on ...Tc....

    Pokerchix Oct 3, 2008 4:35 am
    LOL I know right LOL.....I get so tired of people asking me questions so I thought I would make this blog and direct them here lol.....
    ripsaw Oct 3, 2008 4:36 am
    the wife is a better poker player than me.....i guess im the one that gets to stay at home with the "assets" ......glad to see ya back
    MyNemesis Oct 3, 2008 4:43 am
    wow topcat... you can afford to fill the tank..... thats almost more than your cash value....lol

    dont get me started on the costs of gas
    SHERRY524 Oct 3, 2008 4:44 am
    I try to think on the positive side and hope that the majority of railbirds have their on straight but I know that poker can screw with some people sense of reality so this blog is no doubt a benefit to some. I hope you do continue with a series of them.
    allndave Oct 3, 2008 4:46 am
    it's good to here from you. if you say this is a good idea i'm on it, be ready by morning with a one way buss pass. thats all we will need for transportation..........right?
    Pokerchix Oct 3, 2008 4:46 am
    HAHAHHAA NEMI!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
    Sandman2369 Oct 3, 2008 4:47 am

    I will be honest, I have not read the whole blog, because it is past my bedtime and I need my beauty sleep.

    But welcome back, and I hope this is the first of many more blogs to come.

    You have been missed! By TC that is! LOL

    SHERRY524 Oct 3, 2008 4:47 am
    hahaha meant heads on straight, i obviously dont!
    DesireToFire Oct 3, 2008 4:59 am
    Dana what do I do if I follow this plan and go broke, cause I can definitely see that happening to me.
    lllPHOENIXlll Oct 3, 2008 5:07 am
    Welcome back nipples uh I mean Dimples yea thats it
    Qstack Oct 3, 2008 5:20 am

    why would people ask you about being pro ? are you special ? all this time we been friends coz I thought you liked the taste of hay just like me ????

    Im hurt and confused......

    KevGuy Oct 3, 2008 5:21 am
    i think this a joke? .. But i would never become a professional poker player, im good, but i make mistakes. Plus, we all know that playing cards involves alot of luck in order to win, me not so lucky.
    tripps747 Oct 3, 2008 5:23 am
    the only problem with that plan is I have no extra assets. Really the only reason why im not is cause I have no bankroll too start. Well its about time your back.
    Makwa Oct 3, 2008 5:35 am
    401K? Gimme a break. If you have that kind of money u aint reading this IMHO.
    Evizzzzz Oct 3, 2008 5:35 am
    Im in. Just need a coach! Any takers?
    poppa_cool Oct 3, 2008 5:42 am
    Long time no see, pokerchix. Welcome back!

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