Mississippi

The owner of a golf course in Mississippi was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the Univ. of
Mississippi and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."




A group of Mississippian friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. that night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!"



Regarding the year 2000, a senior at Mississippi was overhead saying "when
the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Mississippi." When asked why, he
stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the
civilized world.



The young Mississippi man came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young fellow answered. "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."



NEW S FLASH- Mississippi's' worst air disaster occurred when a small
two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Mississippi
students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today.
Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the
number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot
survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.



A Mississippi State Trooper pulled over a pickup on 1-40.
The trooper asked "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"



A Mississippi man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man
replied, " I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the
flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the
front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."