I'm a bit down in the dumps

I'm not too good on jokes. But I can remember the first time I lost a pool game at the Bronte R.S.L. -without sinking a ball. You know the rules........had to run around the table with my shorts off. That was a sight.

Cheer up, or I'll do it again - 'coz now it is not a pretty sight - that was over 30 years ago!!!!

Hope for the best, plan for the worst. And hopefully the former is there, than the latter.

I got beaten at a final table with a full house, aces over kings, for a $70,000 all-in call, by 4 kings. All my buddies i told so far have thought it was funny anyway. lol. freeroll, not real money. prob would have punched 1 of them that laughed if it was real money. lol.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asks "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit replies "No."

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

cute!

oh, that was supposed to be a link. i'm stupid today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ6zJrnJNCo

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today,


I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner,
and someone saw my grin.


When he smiled I realized,
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
then I realized its worth.

A single smile just like mine,
could travel the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.

Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

is the pipe smoking rabbit's name George Bush by any chance?

here ya go hun this is funnie hope it makes ya loagh

watch it

A Mountie stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.

He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy
Signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.

The Mountie says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an Asshole!"

Two months later they're in court. The "Violator" has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his licence and has hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defence attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes sir, that is the defendants copy, his
Signature and mine, same number at the top.

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative
There is an "AH," underlined."

Lawyer: "What does the AH stand for, officer?"

Officer: "Aggressive and Hostile Sir."

Lawyer: "Aggressive and hostile?"

Officer: "Yes Sir?

Lawyer: "Officer, Are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"

Officer: "Well Sir, You know your client better than I do!"

Dear Madam,

Thank you for your recent order you placed to our sex toy shop. You asked for the large red vibrator as featured on our wall display. Please select another item because that is our fire extinguisher.

Oh Shit!

Two young Irish lads leave a bar......well, it could happen.