My sons gonna win the WSOP

The other night I sat with my little lad teaching him the fine arts of No limit holdem. Hes only seven bless him, but he has seen daddy playing online and he was intrigued by it. He wanted to know how to play, so being a kind thoughtful daddy I decided to teach him.. Bless his little heart. Hes only seven so I thought I'd just teach him the very basic bits...

All was going well till the sawn off little shit beat my flush with a full house and had me all in on the turn. Thats it.. all out war..

Well once I'd disposed of his last 30 fruit gums and gleefully pocketed the change from his piggy bank, I wiped his tears away and explained to him that poker was a nasty game and that you can lose everything you had if you werent careful. I think he'd sussed that out already given I now had every sweet in the house and the last three months pocket money...

My wife intervened at this point and told me that I should refrain from teaching my son the game of poker. In fact she went further than that. She made me give him back his pocket money ( under the threat of no nuptual pleasures for a month if I didnt ). So I returned the kids treasures ( minus a few sweets which I sneakily hid behind the sofa ) and took him on at tiddlywinks instead. Where the little shit thrashed the pants off me, and won a further 5 weeks pocket money in tthe process...

Once I'd packed the little bugger off to bed, my wife took it in her stride to giving me a lecture on how I shouldnt encourage my son to gambe. I tried reasoning with her, but no she wouldnt have it. Our little boy was NOT going to be a gambler like his dad.

I told her in no uncertain terms that I would teach him all I knew in time, and he would go to Vegas and win millions. He'd be the best gambler in the world.. For someone who detests gambling she clearly didnt see the irony in her response when she said "do you wanna bet on that "

It was at that point she told me that I wasnt going to turn my son into a raplica of me.. ME.. Mild mannered, calm, friendly, witty.. Whats so bad about me ?

"You... " she stormed " you are ruthless and nasty when you play poker... I dont like you because you become evil"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Me Evil ? Never.. Ok so I'd check-raise my own grandmother.. I wouldnt say its evil... Just erm.. erm... being competitive...

Anyhow, the next day I came home from work to find my little lad on the computer. Like a fool I'd left my Full Tilt acount running. And there he was in a 25/50c NL table.

My precious bankroll. 8 months of hard work going for a burton. Countless freerolls. Countless hours at the cash tables playing for micro stakes.. And here he is merrily playing away without a care in the world.

Like a flash I grabbed hold of the mouse and just stopped him calling all in with 8 4 off suit with a board of AKK.

"NO" I yelled at him. " what the hell do you think you are doing "

"but daddy" he replied, in all innocence " that blokes a complete donkey. If I raise him he'll fold. He always does it when I am under the gun.. I've bluffed him off three pots already and he's had to reload three times where I've hit the nuts on the flop and trapped him. All you have to do is represent a bigger hand, play into an unraised pot and this donkey folds everytime"

Hang on one god damn pickin minute.. I kicked him out the chair and went to check the acount balance.

The little bugger had only turned my $123 bankroll into a mind boggling $1, 345 and trebled my FT points in the process.

Needless to say he's on double pocket money for a month..

My wife... well she never knew. As far as she was aware he was playing Sonic the Hedgehog, blissfully unaware her precious son was well on the road to WSOP stardom. Watch out Hellmuth. FCUMRED junior is on his way.....

[ can I please point out this is not actually a true story, but hey, dads can dream cant they ]