Superman's Night Out
Superman's had a hard week of fighting crime in Metropolis and is ready for
some R&R. So Friday afternoon he looks up his pals Batman and Spiderman to
see if they're up for going on the prowl that evening. Both turn him down on
account of prior commitments and Superman is pretty ticked.
As he's flying around the stratosphere letting off steam, he spots Wonder Woman lying on
her back, stark naked, sunbathing on the beach.
"Hey," he thinks, "I'm Superman and I don't need those two clowns to have a
good time. I can just fly down there at the speed of light, catch a quickie
and fly away before she knows what happened."
So, Superman zips down, takes advantage of the situation and flies away at
the speed of light.
Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?"
The Invisible Man says, "I don't know but it hurt like hell"
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Team Work
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head."
Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb a--hole', is it?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."
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Names On The Wall
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names ...and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning," replied the young man -- still focused on the plaque.
"What is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.
"Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex's voice was trembling .. and barely audible ... when he asked, "Which service? ... the 8:30 .... or the 11:00?"
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Dead Worms
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
© Copyright 2008
5 comments
Quality laughter for Saturday, thank you!!!!!!!
LOL..dink wishkey and don't get worms..too funny
~Flops~