Another senior moment......I have way too many!

My wife Caren, our youngest daughter Michell (LOL.......Our little girl is 31), and I went to Europe for a little over two weeks in early October, and we had a ball. Flew into London and spent two more days there, then got to spend time and see some awesome sights in Belgum, Switzerland, Italy, and then to France before flying home. Well it was great! I will post some of the 800+ pictures (LOL......our digital camera got a real workout we took a heck of a lot of pictores, and kept 800+) in my Gallery.

I have this inate ability to take the ordinary and make it TRULY EXCITING, as the following will clearly show. We are flying out of Paris on United Airlines at about 1 PM. We get to the airport about four hours ahead of time, we want no problems. I don't know how many of you have gone through the process for international flights, after 9/11, but this is the way it works:

We go to the United Airline's check-in station and scan our passports into a computer terminal, and if everything is OK you will get your boarding pass printed out;

We then go to the next station and drop off your "checked luggage";

Then it's off to French immigration to check out of France. They check and stamp your passport;

Then you take off your shoes and put all metal and carry-on stuff into trays for X-Ray, while you go through the metal detectors and the explosives detector. You then reclame your stuff;

Now your off to the "Departure Lounge" to "cool your heels" and wait for your plane to leave.

Everything went great...............no problems.

We are sitting in the departure lounge at about 12:20, with our plane departing "on time" at 1 PM. I have this feeling that something is wrong. It suddenly dawns on me that the the zippered wallet (about 8 in. long by 3 in. wide) that holds my passport and some of my cash is missing from my jacket pocket..........NOW THING ARE STARTING TO GET INTERESTING!

Oh did I forget to tell you about the many large signs in the airport telling us to "watch out for pickpockets"...........silly me.

Well we look everywhere....in our luggage, on the floor, in my pockets, and find nothing. I have a choice now, I can shutup and try to get on the plane to get the family safely home, and be in DEEP DOODOO and probably arrested when I get to the US, .......... or I can "fess up" now, tell the airline and security people how dumb I am and get a lot of people to help look for the wallet.

I deside to tell the world how stupid and careless I am. I go to the Boarding Agent smiles weakly and she calls Airline Security. The United Airline Security guy looks at me like I am maybe 6 years old and then makes us go through all the luggage, pockets, and the metal detector area again ............Nothing, and it's now about 12:35. Airline Security now has to notify French Security and the French Police. It now is me, Caren, Michelle, one Airline Security officer, one French Security officer, and two French Police officers..........Other travelers are now backing away!

I tell the French Security guy that I have a photocopy of my passport, I have my US Drivers License, and I point out that I have my wife and daughter to vouch for me, and ask if this is adequate given that I had a passport or I could not have gotten my boarding pass, and point out that I went through French Immigration with no problems. He says......."Makes good sense to him, but we need to talk to the US Embassy" Off the seven (7) of us go to the Airport Security Office......people are backing into walls to get away from this possible terrorist.

We call the US Embassy....The people who I am counting to be helpfull and on my side....Boy was I wrong! The person at the US Embassy was the most rude and hidebound person I have ever delt with. The photocopy, drivers license, and people traveling with me didn't matter at all, nor did my having a bording pass, nor did my sucessfully going through French Immigration. I ask this jerk at the US Embassy what I am supposed to do.....remember I checked out of France.........I am thinking about the Tom Hanks movie where he is stuck in the airport, and can't leave to fly back to his country nor can he enter the US! The US Embassy person tells me "that is not their problem", but that I must be at the US Embassy in Paris at 9 AM in the morning, and they will give me an "Emergency Passport"........and she hangs up!

.The French Security officer seems stunned, and tells me that I don't need to worry "The French Goverment will let me back into the country because I had a passport or I would never have gotten to the departure lounge". The French Police Officers ask me if I have any money and / or credit cards for a hotel room.....The US Embassy personnel never asked, and did not even care!

Oh did I tell you that this was the18th of October, 2007..........silly me. The country of France went on STRIKE the night of the 17th. No bus or subway transport is running and only about 20% of the cabs are running...... and 4 million people are trying to get around. I ask how I can find a room, and how do I get to the hotel and / or the US Embassy? The French Police talk it over and then offer to drive me to a hotel, then drive me to the Embassy in the morning, and then drive me back out to the airport. TALK ABOUT NICE!

We (All 7 of us) then go back to the departure lounge and I put my wife and daughter on the plane and tell them I will call them and let them know what is happening, as well as, when (and if) I am coming back home. They get on the plane and the airline gives me my checked luggage (No luggage goes on a plane without the person checking it being on the plane). It's now 12:55.

We start to leave for the process of "signing me back into France", and here comes a French Security officer (At a dead run and dodging people........looked like one of the old commercials on TV). He hands me the zippered wallet and asks "is this your's and is everything there". I open the wallet and my passport is there, but the $160 in cash is gone...........I am one happy camper, they can have the money! He said that they found the wallet in a trash can in the non-secure part of the airport........I either dropped it or someone picked my pocket between French Immigration and the metal detectors?.........I will never know for sure.

We then all hustle back over to the United Airlines gate desk and show them I AM LEGAL! (LOL.....The people in line scatter when we come rushing up). The airline holds the plane, while they put my checked luggage back on the plane......and 1 Airline Security officer, 2 French Security officers, and 2 French Police officers ESCORT me to the plane........They are not taking any chances that I will screw this up further! I get on the plane and the Stewardess asked what was going on. I told her a very short verision and.............LOL, she follows me to my seat and tells me that "my AND my family's drinks are ON THE HOUSE!" My wife says " Give me your passport....we have had enough excitement for today", and my daughter just shakes her head................LOL.

We were about seven min. late getting off the ground, but got back to the States about 10 min. ahead of schedule. See I told you I can make things INTERESTING!

Well......Let's sum this up:

United Airlines: Security and the Airlines people ................Very helpfull........Did their jobs above and beyound expectations

French Security / French Police:...............................................Top Notch........Courtious and very proffessional

US Embassy in Paris:................................................................Jerks, They are not on your side at all!

ME:.................................................................................................Donk, pretty much clueless (My wife now has my passport)